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I believe the ET-8550 is the greatest printer in a generation.

More colors, gradients, gamut, pigment archival capabilities... but you're right, I don't need much more. The scanning, duplex printing, and document printing capabilities aren't something I would want to give up. The printer is genuinely amazing.

I didn't know toner could leak

I think the Epson Et-8550 might be one of the best printers in a generation. Should Epson release a tank photo printer, I will scoop that one up in a heartbeat.

On the 2nd print it's slightly faded, on the 3rd print it's gone. I have it chipped. Before I go digging and breaking something, I thought I would ask here for advice. See attached picture!

Epson ET-8550 with QImage ICC profiles for the appropriate paper type (I use Epson Ultra Premium Glossy and Canon Photo Paper Luster). This is hours upon hours upon hours of research, trial, and error condensed into once sentence. Do with this information what you will.